Two movies from the past -- "Bulletin Board" & "Personal Soundtrack" -- managed to make become a part of the most recent Triggerstreet online festival. If you haven't checked out this site, I'd really recommend it. If nothing else it is a great way to get kneejerk feedback.
Also, check out the responses to the films below.
Posts
Observe mojin the worm valley On-line | mojin the worm valley wiki
-
Observe mojin the worm valley On-line | mojin the worm valley wiki
<p class="separator" data-blogger-escaped-style="margin: 0px; color: rgb(0,
0, 0...
5 years ago
TS REVIEWS: BULLETIN BOARD
ReplyDeleteNice The story was well told visually, however there were dry moments during the interaction between the guy and the girl that almost made it unnatural. The cutting between the ice rink and the train scene helped break-up some of the dry spots but not enough. The story was believable but I couldn’t understand the main characters plight or confusion with the ad – nice touch at the end, but confusing set-up from the beginning. -- By bigdreamer, Posted on Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Hope Budweiser is gonna support Jet's Stadium For use of super cool subway cars, the MTA could use some lobbying support. The voice is always a good place to find a rental. Lighting and editing could have been more in detial. Read the current issue of New York Mag. there a plenty of ideas for increase subway spending in efforts to move large fans to the new Jet Statium. -- By pepper6, Posted on Wednesday, February 23, 2005
NYC a great backdrop I think that for a first film this is not a bad endeavour but it does nearly stand up to the standard that was set in Personal Soundtrack. While the visuals were once again good in this film (some scenes seemed to dark but I know that was probably compression garbage). I would love to look at this film projected nice a large since then the images would get there full day in the sun.The acting in this was not as great as it could have been although I must say that the first conversation between the male and female on the train - when she was asking him about hockey was very good - you could feel the ackward tension. That is always something that is impressive when achieved. For that those actors should be applauded.This is in no way a bad film but I definatly think you learned from this production when you made Personal Soundtrack. Nevertheless it is always interesting to look at a filmmakers first work and glad to see you posted yours on here. -- By conexc, Posted on Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Largely overlong, But Very, Very Strong This was executed beautifully. The camerawork, cinematography and editing were all superb; this could be primetime television for certain. The way the different scenes blended into eachother (from the train, to the changing room, to the hockey game, and back again) was expertly handled. Acting was pretty solid throughout. Though the premise was overly familiar, and the duration was a little excessive (trimming some of the locker room sequences might help), this was still pretty great stuff. Fresh dialogue and intuitive, subtle direction. Nice work... P.S. Everyone knows who wrote the Production Notes. Don't refer to yourself in the third person unless you want instill hostility in your critics! Peace ;0p -- By Al80, Posted on Monday, February 21, 2005
Great My third Joe Leonard work today, and by far the best of them. I liked the scenes with the hockey players, they seemed to work better than the scenes with the girl. I thought she was trying too hard or something. The film as a whole could have been cut down to about 3/4 or even 1/2 the length. Nicely made though, some really classy shots and lighting. The reason this was better than the other stuff, for me, was I could identify with the main character and there was a decent story being told - like, you actually want to know what's going to happen at the end. -- By **DELETED ACCOUNT**, Posted on Friday, February 18, 2005
Hockey Sticks! Really well done on this production. The production values were really high and it showed. It was nicey shot, the dialogue clean, and the music was spot on!The only realy negative thing I can say about this is that it is slightly too long. I think at least a minute and a half could have been shaved from this and the story would be the same. We wouldn't have lost any of the emotion either.I liked this. It felt like the set up to something bigger, and left me wanting to know what happened next. That's can only be a good thing. -- By johnschwab, Posted on Friday, February 18, 2005
Wonderful Sadness A nice handful of ideas in a 10 minute space. Ms. Donhoeffner seemed like her character was aware she was "the girl on a train" in an NYU student film, and the meathead hockey thugs were a bit hammy, but other than that it was a well executed piece. Camera, music, and sound were all terrific. The sadness of the ad copy at the end was good. -- By pallagi, Posted on Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Very well executed Firstly the positives, as a whole it did exactly what it wanted to do, I empathised with Hockey Boy, while Lauren was written and acted brilliantly. Everything about the story rings true, and that as well as the acting were the great strengths.Some little improvements that could have been made, the first scene with the close ups of the hockey gear seemed a little useless, and I think there was too much time given to the hockey players running comments. Perhaps with more stringent editing it could hae been a perfect short film, but this comes as close as they get. -- By mulhollanddrive66, Posted on Friday, February 11, 2005
Man I love hockey I'm a big hockey fan so this one gets automatic brownie points. But even if this was told over a football game it would be good. I liked the story, although that's about all this had going. That sounds mean, I did enjoy this one. The camera work and lighting was nothing to get excited about but the story was good and I love hockey. -- By holdemmrpink, Posted on Thursday, February 10, 2005
Interesting concept A very well executed concept which really draws itself together by the ending. Simplistic though it may initially seem the characters explanation of the meetings significance was thought-provoking. The initial meeting of the two on the train sends mixed messages of the girls intent, it certainly seems forced and her actions imposing. I wasn't sure if she was intent on murdering him or was just interested to be completely honest. This is resolved in their next meeting which is far more natural from both sides. The male character was especially real in the unconfident dialogue and delivery. The woman was really brought to life by the camera movement and editing on their conversation scene. The editing of the transgressions of the train running past was a nice quality though some other cuts seem abrupt. Very well done. -- By chamaeleo, Posted on Wednesday, February 9, 2005
Really nice short Strong student film. That term usually has negetive connotations, but not in this case. This is a great example of the short film format. Covers all the bases and is very strong in its delivery. Nothing tremendous here, but strong all the way around. Good acting stemming from some good direction. Slow at the start and the guitar soundtrack was a little annoying at times (just a little too redundant and dominant in the mix) -- once again, nothing groundbreaking here, but a solid production. -- By jetpak, Posted on Tuesday, February 8, 2005
Nice Story I couldn't help wondering at the end whether this is all based on a true story or not, and whether that was a real ad from the back of a paper? Either way, it worked as a concept for a film, the story did move a little slowly at times, but overall it worked fine, when combined with his recital of the tale to his ice hockey buddies. Good production values shown by using different locations, and the male actors are all pretty decent too, but the girl is the star though in my eyes. I like what you've done, and I wish you the best of luck... -- By Matt Burn, Posted on Thursday, February 3, 2005
So close but such a shame This film had lots of heart. I give the main actor giant kudos for his performance. The girl was also remarkable. It was a real shame that the hockey dudes were such stand outs as non actors. In fact, the whole format of the movie, cutting back and forth between the guy telling the story and the flashbacks, seemed kind of feable. However, the story at the end about the ad was great. It would have been more powerful to just stay with the train action. I suggest keeping the scene where he says "do you ever read those ads" and then staying with the train all the way until the end bit in the locker room. Dump the middle hockey business that feels expository and amateurish. The movie has lots of heart and can stand on it's own with out all the cutting back. The two leads are awesome and derserve to have a full and rich scene together. The music and cinematography were great! -- By arthouse, Posted on Wednesday, February 2, 2005
Technical skills but needs heart Wow a movie about a good looking guy who meets a good looking girl! I think I saw that the other night on The O.C.? Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t the German female character have a British accent? This has all the trappings of a Kevin Smith film without the heart, fun or comedy. But I have to give credit to anyone who goes out there and actually makes a film! Technically this film looks good, the editing is tight and the sound is great. But the story is best suited for the WB. This director will have a great future in TV, but hell it beats working in a grocery store. You have potential and the technical skills. I'd like to see more from this filmmaker, but I think someone else needs to come up with the story. -- By chzypoof, Posted on Wednesday, February 2, 2005
Great locations, gorgeous woman Those, plus the use of film certainly helped the aesthetics. However, I don't think they showed to their potential because the encoding size was so small, and "mushy". Overall, however, the acting wasn't bad, camera work was good and some of the dialogue sounded natural. However, my biggest complaint, though you may have wanted it this way, was that the pacing was slow. It was very difficult for me to maintain interest. Perhaps with tighter editing you could really help the short... Like for instance, the stories he tells w/ his friends could be told over him riding on the train for extended periods, while they break for moments of conversation between his woman and him, then the scenes at the rink could have been more action oriented - like slapping a goal, making a pass, coming off the ice or arguing with the coach. Good first effort though - keep it up. -- By sandline, Posted on Wednesday, February 2, 2005
Bulletin Board The attempt at the cross-cutting of the film could have been a lot better. It was a little too slow paced for me, and not until after she spoke, did it pick up. A little more narration on the silence between both from "Jake" would have helped, because the performances in the empty cart weren't effective. I think a lot more thought could have been put into the cinematography of the film. There was lots of potential with playing and experimenting with compositions and overal visuals to better tell the story. Having extras in the subway was crucial. I truly enjoyed the soundtrack to the short film. Best of luck -- By fedorafilms, Posted on Tuesday, February 1, 2005
Curious premise I really liked the premise of the film, and the acting was excellent. My only complaint is that I found the conversation with the guys in the hockey room more interesting than the romantic moments in between. At first they seemed very awkward (which I guess conveyed the true emotion in a way), but they improved as the film went along. Camera & sound were professional & overall I liked the film, but I felt the romance needed a little more zap. -- By tompriestley, Posted on Tuesday, February 1, 2005
Very good first effort For your initial effort this was very good. The story dragged a little too much but your cast were very believable. Somehow this could have been tuned down to maybe six or seven minutes. The lighting was not the best in the station scenes and when the train entered the underground and some fill light was necessary. The blocking of the cast was very well done and the dressing room scenes worked veery well as did the bench scenes. Concept was good and should have been kept to a shorter more intense timing. Again, well done on your first film. -- By Brummie, Posted on Sunday, January 30, 2005
a bit long Thought the story was not great and it was to long. Shots were ok, it was edited together very well and I liked the music. I think the acting was quite good. It was very well lit and the sound was good. On the whole a good looking film would have been better if it was shorter. -- By claireallison, Posted on Friday, January 28, 2005
One of my favorites of the current selection Yes... it's true. I really liked your short. So very well told. I liked how the story slowly unfolded in segments. Very, very well done. Your camerawork was quite nice and you did a nice job with your frame composition throughout the entilre film. Nice edits made way for a well told story and helped make this film very interesting and appealing. I like that kind of editing - shifting back and forth in a story. Nice acting that was very much believeable. For the location you used, you managed to successfuly tell a story without too much interference from those not intended to be in your film. All in all... one of my favorits of the 50. Thanks for the view! -- By SeaMowse, Posted on Tuesday, January 25, 2005
A Kevin Smith Fan Hockey, musings on girls and life, ahh a Kevin Smith fan. I love him too. Your actors have a lot of natural talent, but your comic timing in the editing could be much sharper, snappier. Very good first effort, although you meander a bit before you pull us into the story, but F it right, it's your first NYU film... Keep it up and you'll be A-OK. Your actress is almost a little too mysterious for your story, feels like she's holding back. Since you have access to an ice rink, ever think about doing more of a 'slapshot' style comedy. -- By almostfamousnoah, Posted on Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Hocky Guy... First off, I liked that you put that ad in at the end from the girl. Very nice touch. I think the quality of the pic was very nice and the sound was good. The composition was very will shot as well. The whole thing looked professionally done. I think the lead actor wasn't that great at acting. He just seemed like he was forcing it too much. Like when he pushed his friend in the locker room jokingly, that seemed so out of place. Plus, the girl didn't sound like she had a german accent. It sounded like English, Australian, German and something else all mixed together. Now if I'm just slow and she actually IS german, then I would suggest having her force her accent more. But if she's not, it would probably be best to either change her origin or teach her the accent. Great job though! -- By tmcarlee, Posted on Monday, January 24, 2005
A Classified Review I wasn't too sure what to think at the beginning for if there's something I hate are, indeed, those newspapers' bullettin boards. But then I felt the very familiar guy's uncomfortableness on the subway when he was next to the girl without being able to say one word, and I felt like it was a short about me or something. Nice comedy in the end, well shot and acted. Maybe a bit slow but it worked nevertheless. I was impressed by the fact you can shoot in the subway (and surroundings) with a 16mm in NYC, whereas in London I ended up into a sort of James Bond style with three bulky underground employees when shooting guerrilla with a vx2000. Go figure. Guess I live in the wrong city uh. Anyway, camerawork was very nice and I enjoyed the subtle use of depth of field. Colouring was also a winning factor. Audio was very clear and editing very well done. Acting was good, with the leads giving convvincing performances. Best of luck. -- By matteo prezioso, Posted on Saturday, January 22, 2005
"That's it?" I felt like his mates at the end of the film. I was hoping it might have gone somehwhere, but it didn't. It might have been pulled off if the lead guy had been stronger, but as the hockey players said, "Weak". That's not to say it was all like that. There was a definate "moment" at the point they realised he just got off the train. I felt for her, and I felt their frustration at him. It would have worked for me better had it not been set at such a languid pace. I realise that it was deliberate but I feel that it would have had more impact had it been even half the running time. -- By Masked Mogul, Posted on Saturday, January 22, 2005
BB good story, i just wish you were a little more creative iwth your camera shots. i give most of my props to the actors, they did the best work of the whole short. i loved the location, yet felt the music was a little off with the mood i think u were going for. all in all: 100% successful short. -- By ryanrich007, Posted on Friday, January 21, 2005
ALL ABOARD This film shines with good music, nifty edits, and good camera work. Some of the cuts were long, I think it would be stronger if it were edited down a tad. The performances were quite engaging, Lauren's accent was delightful. Good ending, poor "hockey boy" missed the train, and she was trying to tell him "ALL ABOARD" -- By bo hitchcock, Posted on Thursday, January 20, 2005
Near Perfect This is the best film I've seen on Triggerstreet yet - hands down. It was an honest exploration of a simple moment. It was not pretentious. It was not "overly directed." It's perfect for a short.I love the postscript at the end. The characters, the setting, the feeling of a lost chance one wants to regain - it was all there. The right balance was struck between all of these elements and it is a fine, authentic piece of filmmaking.Congratulations. Oh, and great choice using Kaki King. She happens to be the next musical Artist of the Month for a Movie Theater Cinema show I'm producing. It was a pleasant surprise to see her listed in your credits.Best of Success in the New Year -- By nathanmi, Posted on Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Desperately Seeking... My all time favorite "Bulletin Board" posting was "Cyndi you're no Blue Angel". Which was a direct hit at the character of Cyndi Lauper. I just had to say that. Now, about your film "Bulletin Board". It was shot very well, the editing was good, the sound and acting were fine. The main problem I had was the script. The hockey scenes explained what we were going to see on the train, so they didn't really add anything. The dialogue was pure exposition, and quite average. This could be cut in half and show more depth of character. On just a minor personal note, I don't know one athletic type person who reads or would touch the Voice. Most jocks think it's a fag communist paper. -- By karenkarlton, Posted on Monday, September 27, 2004
That's it? That's the story!? Hehe, okay, sorry, I couldn't resist.This short was quite slowly paced and a little tedious, but I stayed with it because I liked what it was trying to do. Unfortunately I found the protagonist's patheticness... well... pathetic. It just annoyed me rather than endearing him to me. I mean, I'm pathetic when it comes to pretty girls, I should have sympathised, but even I couldn't reach the depths of shyness that this guy managed to reach!Technically it was pretty good, with good visuals and excellent sound. I liked that the conversation happened in various different places to keep it interesting and the hockey backdrop seemed to give the story scope.But I can't help but feel that, in a film where one of the main characters actually comments that the narrated story is lame, the audience is inevitably going to share his feelings... -- By andycapp328, Posted on Sunday, September 12, 2004
fun, introspective This is certainly an impressive entry for a first film. All production aspects that I looked at (though certainly I'm no expert) seemed wholly adequate, because none of them stuck out. They served the story. I 'd be interested to know, by the way, if that was a real Village posting.The acting of your leads was good, as was the writing. Some of your hockey players stank, I have to say. But they couldn't undermine the sweet simplicity of the story. So, in conclusion, if this is what you are making straight from the gates, as it were, I would love to see what you're doing in five years. -- By crh38, Posted on Sunday, August 29, 2004
bullentin board review.... The acting is pretty decent in this piece. The story is really sweet and mixed with some boyish like behavior in the locker room. The edits are really nice. The camera work is pretty good, I especially love the shot of the train coming at the camera. It absolutely blew me away. Awesome use of those great locations. Cute ending with the ad from the chick. Continued Success! -- By blackgrrrl, Posted on Friday, July 2, 2004
And The Crowd Go Wild! Excellent work! The silences really serve to heighten the sexual tension between the two leads, and the juxtaposition of the near-silent romance that never was with the rowdy locker room conversations serves as a great narrative device. Special mention is also warranted for the solid performances by all involved. I especially liked the way the locker room banter would overlap between speakers, producing a very natural, non-contrived atmosphere. Very good story, too: I think pretty much everyone's been in that kind of situation before (although probably not as slow off the mark as McLean's character) so it's a ripe situation to explore. Great work - keep 'em coming. -- By Ant Jam, Posted on Tuesday, June 8, 2004
Well well well At first when I read the synopsis the film seemed dull. The opening scene was begining to annoy me, but as I continued to watch what I was wishing I could fast -forward, I began to see it film's emotion evolve into something worth my attention. Like I said I did not enjoy the first scene, but the interaction between the guy and the girl was very... real. It had a very beautiful tone and pace to it, nothing over the top. It was shot well and edited well. I think some of your dialouge needed polishing in the hockey players scenes. I enjoyed the acting of the guy and the girl on the train they fed off each other very well. Honestly, this was worth the look and the ten minutes. -- By jovenaso, Posted on Wednesday, February 4, 2004
Good production but a bit jagged This short has excellent production values and I must say that for a 1st film it is pretty impressive..the acting was OK but the dialogue delivery was not. It was too long and the editing was way off pacing and rhythm...some really nice camera compositions but overall it is the movie as a whole which counts...you are on track my friend...better luck next time. -- By atrips, Posted on Saturday, January 10, 2004
Good. Nice shots. This was a beautifully shot film, 16mm definately pays and makes for a more enjoyable viewing. The story was good but I felt the main character was a bit lacking, I'm not sure if it was the actor or the part. I wasn't crazy about the dialogue, the story relied too much on it. The music was excellent. The shots on the train were well done, I know how hard it is to accompliosh a beautiful shot on the train. It looks like there was a lot of care and preparation and it paid off. Good job and good luck. -- By bee152, Posted on Thursday, January 8, 2004
A good notice There is an awful lot going right in this short. Picture looked like it was done a real dis-service due to small window,crushed blacks and compression artifacts. However, you can see that the detail is in fact there. For example, when seeing outside the subway window the bkg is not blown out yet face tone is still good. Many nice images both in the locker room and rinkside. Good contrast in color and camera movement from group to subway. Also, audio was not destroyed by the train--pretty unusual, perhaps 2 shot was in studio setting? OK, enough technical. I thought the story was cute and very well handled look at everyday uncomfortable encounters. It is sometimes risky to restrain and let the anti-hero be. Nice tension was created as well as doubt of her character and her intentions because of her hockey knowledge and aggressor role. This felt like it could very easily be a part to a larger coming of age story. Well done. -- By treckson, Posted on Monday, January 5, 2004
Not bad Not bad at all, especially for a first film. It is obvious that much work went into this project and it is also apparent that it's paid off. Both camera and sound were excellent, editing and music as well. Performances weren't too bad either. I think that the plot of this story is a good one, no one seems to ever get tired of a boy meets girl story and I know that I couldn't help but want him to get back on the subway. I think that some of the writing was lacking though, or could have used some revision. It just felt like some of the dialogue was "scripted", and forced. It was predictable as far as serving the story and none of the characters seemed to have much dimension. I can't criticize this type of writing though, because on the other hand, keeping the characters simple allows the viewer to become the protagonist, and I think that's how I felt, I wanted him to get the message on the bulletin board. Good work. -- By WDrinker, Posted on Tuesday, December 30, 2003
Definitely NOT "Bored"! Great script, camera work, sound, and AWESOME acting. I saw the 10 minute length and thought, "oh no", but alas! I was drawn into the production completely. The actress was as beautiful as she was talented, and the hockey players seemed au naturel in their dialog and performances. I found myself thinking, and nearly saying out loud, "It's a PASS, dammit, ask her out! Go for it!". Always a sign of a great production. The only problem I detected was the lighting, especially in the subway train. Certainly a difficult but do-able challenge for remote scenes like those. Great job overall. Peopel who want to submit movies here at Triggerstreet, please take note: This is how you do it. Well thought out, scripted, storyboarded, well-propduced pieces always rise to the top. Bravo, please invite me to more of your submissions. BTW, can I get Alexandra's number? I didn't see it in the ad (LOL, just kidding!). -- By IMG, Posted on Thursday, December 25, 2003
Needed Help with It's Pacing I thought that this was a clever idea. The only problem I found was that the pacing seemed to be a little slow at points. Specific examples include the periods of little or no action as we watch the passengers simply ride the train. The viewer must always be engaged or their mind will wander. -- By vinnyc, Posted on Monday, December 22, 2003
Meeting on the subway I felt this story was put together very tightly and well told and acted. Being from NY I noticed that the subway stations were off and even the subway line was different in different shots but that didn't hurt this story at all. I liked the way it ended, made me laugh. Very cute story and I liked it. -- By JJCross, Posted on Sunday, December 21, 2003
A Solid Short Film I enjoyed the story of this film. Everyday, each of us meets and interacts with people we will never see again. It was nice to see one of those meetings played out and discussed. I found myself very interested in the main character mainly because it was so easy to relate to him. I especially liked how the main character enjoyed the feeling of being like the people who leave the ads on the back of newspapers. The structure of the film worked well in telling the story. It was a good choice to have the main character telling his story and then flashing back to watch it unfold. The editing between the past and present gave the film a nice pace which helped it flow and kept the story moving. Overall, this is a good short film. -- By DrunknMick, Posted on Monday, December 15, 2003
Been there Well done, Mr. Leonard, well done! This was one of those "oh, no, 10 minutes?" assignments that flew right by. Such a great telling of an average everyday story. The hockey buddies, Jake and the girl all did a wonderful job acting/reenacting the consumate "lost in a big world" tale that most of us find ourselves in on a daily basis. And such great characters for them to play - a bit like Good Will Hunting, with the thoughtful, sensitive lead, the rough and tumble guys from the neighborhood, and the pretty exotic female scaring off the insecure potential suitor. Technically, very proficient (though I did miss her "crease controversy" question first time through), but otherwise audio was VERY natural to my ears, which is rare on "the street". Shot choices were well done, lighting worked well enough, editing kept the story moving just right. And I loved the end graphic showing the Voice ad. A perfect touch, since now we walk away wondering 1) if he saw it, and if so, 2) did he respond? I can definitely see this as a sequence as part of a feature length film. -- By marctheriault, Posted on Thursday, December 11, 2003
Scaredy Cat! "Ask her out, you fool!" I kept yelling to the monitor. "She's obviously interested"! But alas, he didn't, and so we're left with that bittersweet feeling, the one we let get away. A sweet tale of a shy, courteous young guy's inability to make the first move, but with the courage to tell his buddies of his failure. I thought the locker scenes felt natural, with relaxed and believable performances. Diddo to the train scene, his awkwardness as evident as her self-assurdeness. The cuts back and forth between the locker room and train kept the story moving nicely, and the simple strums of the guitar kept us in the mood. Well lit and good camera work. A simple story, one that happens every day, but one I don't mind watching again and again. -- By Spodaking, Posted on Monday, December 8, 2003
NY state of mind Well shot. I thought the lighting was great. The editing was good and camera. I enjoyed the subway sequence and I thought the lighting on the subway was very good. i thought the actress was pretty good and the cross cutting between the game and the subway ride was good. i enjoyed the technical aspect of this short and the premise. I think every man has been in this type of situation before. Enjoyable from start to finish. -- By marleyluvsfilms, Posted on Sunday, December 7, 2003
Good will feel, well composed Way to go on the composition, from the audio track to the subway noices, I was pleased with the soundtrack. The guitar track went perfectly with the flow of the film. I enjoyed it visually as well, especially the camera shots on the people as they were talking, which were just a bit off center and more visually appealing than centering them. I wish I could have watched the transitions in real time instead of a few frames here and there. The dialogue was good, but the acting in the locker room needed some help. If I had a problem with anything it would be the pitch. Describing something as indescribable can� help the sell too much. But, good movies sell themselves if they are given the time of day. I liked the unhollywood ending as well. -- By doncristobal, Posted on Sunday, July 20, 2003
Well done short film about a truly NY experience I really enjoyed this short as it gave me a backstory for one of those ads that we all see in the back of the village voice. After years of reading these things on an ocassional basis I was really surprised that this film did such a nice job of brining one to life. Most importantly the characters were well developed and likeable. The story was simple and well told. The photgraphy could use some work. Several scenes aboard the train were kinda washed out. and the scene on the outdoor subway platform was strangely dark toward the end. Also the opening shot of the classified was unreadable. I'm not sure if that was intentional or not. Overall a good film. Keep up the good work. -- By Havan, Posted on Thursday, June 26, 2003
I wanted to like it... I really did, story was good the acting was good, but I thought the camerawork and lighting needed help. Most scenes were only one shot scenes, the camera position needs to be varied a litttle. The girl talking hockey was great. All hockey lovers remember Brett Hull's infamous in the crease goal several years back. Thank god they changed the rule now. Anyway, I liked the story, just wanted to be able to see the acting a little better, a few close ups on the subway scenes to show how the two felt about each other. -- By b_nataraj, Posted on Thursday, June 19, 2003
A Perfect Match Finally... I liked it a lot! The acting was good, the story was fun and the directing was right on. A great job for a 1st shot... the concept may have been done before but it works and most of us can relate... there are many times I look back and ask what if. Technically, the lighting was dark in spots and a couple of scenes could be shortened, but for the most part those changes are minor. The main character is very likeable and I look forward to seeing how your future work evolves. -- By showbiznes, Posted on Wednesday, March 19, 2003
excellent Everything worked with this film. What I liked most of all was the limited use of dialogue. WE were able to understand everything that was going on in the young man's head by the subtlety of his glances and his body language. These characters were developed in depth in a very short time. Great camera work, editing, writing and acting. The only change I would make would be to add some light to the scene when the subway comes rumbling past. We lose the actors completely here, at a time when good tension was building. Possibly a closeup would have been more effective here, as well. Great job. -- By terrybtt, Posted on Tuesday, March 18, 2003
A Village Voice is heard Fairly interesting, I did enjoy the acting and the great camera visuals. Nice score. Good effect with the lighting in the sub-car. Good editing, although thank God for constant action, as some scenes could have been shortened. The girl's mic/line delivery were too soft, and I had to go back several times to hear what she said.This story is nice, as he is seeking help in his shyness, and he's not totally getting it from his teammates. "I just grabbed my stuff and got off." Typical of a man in more connotations than one. Just kidding... sort of. What good advice they give, he's not listening. The ending caption saves this piece, as it does the main character. Advice doesn't matter, as she responded right where he was looking. It was 'meant to be'. -- By Elizabeth Anne, Posted on Sunday, March 16, 2003
He shoots he scores I enjoyed the way that this movie was put together. Good editing and a fun (albeit local) concept. Hockey was an interesting tie in -- but the story itself could have been improved if hockey wasn't a random second setting or if it was tied in a bit better to the center of the movie. -- By toddmjones, Posted on Friday, March 14, 2003
score! I liked this a lot. It wasn't perfect, but I liked the concept a lot and there were some perfect moments, such as when the girl leaned over the boy to read the map and he shifted away, so uncomfortable. And when he reveals to his teammates that he left the train without learning anything about the girl -- they all lean over, covered in helmets and padding, to stare at him. I thought there could be more interplay and contrast between the gentle story the boy was telling and the rough sport he and his friends were playing -- it might have added to the comedic element. And the final quote from the paper tied it together very nicely. The two main actors were great. Good job. -- By tubachick, Posted on Thursday, March 13, 2003
Liked it... I enjoyed this film. Nice plot with strong dialogue. The acting was decent, and the music unobtrusive. The camera work was well done, although the lighting was lost in some frames (as the train pulls up etc). The editing seemed a bit choppy in parts, the cuts between the train and the hockey were a bit rushed at times. For a first film this is pretty good. As an aside, you might want to watch for the legal stuff -- the CCM logo would probably draw red flags at any production company. -- By arcanum, Posted on Sunday, March 2, 2003
Nice job We've all experienced being too shy to do anything and this film echoes those sentiments perfectly. Being Canadian I enjoyed the fact that he played hockey. I find it's hard to tell a story in a short period of time and you did well. The acting was really good and story was well written. Keep on improving -- By themer, Posted on Sunday, February 23, 2003
If only real life worked that way This is something that's happened to most of us that have been afflicted with shyness or nervousness at one point(or perhaps many) in his life, and I think the majority of your audience completely understands what was happening here. I know I've been there. Anyway, I thought your film was very well produced, especially for your first outing. The only thing I'd change here is the length. It could've been cut down by at least a couple of minutes, but you have yourself a charming little film. -- By samurai soap, Posted on Saturday, February 22, 2003
good stuff in store I wasn't a big fan of the concept but was shoked by the overall coherence of it. I think there'salot of talent here and something strong will ultimately out of this group. A lot of the shots werealso very impressive and thesound wasn't bad considering what I was checking it out with. I'd reccomend just to see what this crew has in store for the future. -- By heftonus, Posted on Thursday, February 20, 2003
It is always great to see NY on film. It makes it easier to forgive some of the faults of this good, but could have been better film. As an editor myself, even after the first watch I can see that at least two minutes could have been shaved off. Shots lingered too long.The camera work was great and the acting good, the german accent sounded almost english to me! The music was well suited to the piece as well. Most importantly though trust the editor, he could have made this great. -- By billystone, Posted on Thursday, February 20, 2003
Nice Hockey Story The directing, acting, camera work, and sound all worked together to tell the story. I really appreciated the skillful and straightforward camear work and lighting. The dialogue sounded natural. The German accent did not sound forced. I believed the woman was a German expat living in America. I preferred the pacing of the last two thirds of the movie. The first third could have a few frames trimmed out. -- By marmar, Posted on Tuesday, February 18, 2003
Weak Jace, Weak. One of my favorite things to do is to tell someone a bad joke...worse than bad, one that goes nowhere, not even a groan, just a blank stare. And then you look that guy in the eye, and you laugh, because you and he know he's never getting that time back. That's what this film did for me, and why I liked it. However, I think that it actually worked against it in the end, and when I saw it was 16mm, I was less impressed. The girl was pretty (The only reason I watched this in the first place). I could see it being a "when Harry met..." sort of concept as a feature. Some bad "acting moments" brought it down a bit further. As far as constructive advice, perhaps show more pointedly each of the guys getting drawn more and more into the tale, have them really buying into it, give them each more character, then the pay-off works better. And trim...we visited the "you know...those adds" lines way too much, I knew where it was headed halfway into it...Again, why I appreciated it. Nice Music. Next. -- By Tim Morrow, Posted on Tuesday, February 18, 2003
Review I was tempted to use a line from the film: "that's it Jake, that's the story?" Then I read that it was Joe Leonard's first film, not at all bad for a first effort. I felt something was missing but I can't quite put my finger on it. I felt that it was in definite need of some editing. Some of the shots lingered sometimes approaching boredom. I understand that something was trying to be established, perhaps the awkwardness of the moment but it seemed like it could have been cut. Decent acting, camera, editing, etc. Technically a good effort though some shots were dark, that could have been the download. I think we have some talent here and I believe with some more experience, we can see better work. I guess my biggest comment with respect to character development is that I felt that he would have made a bit more of an effort if someone were as forward and engaging as the girl on the subway. Take this from someone who is (was, I'm married now) just a shy as the lead. Even I would have interacted more if the "girl" showed that much interest. However, I fully realize we wouldn't have had the cute ending with the ad in the Voice. I enjoyed your work very much, my thoughts are just that, my thoughts. Good luck, keep 'em coming. -- By Lupine, Posted on Monday, February 17, 2003
Boat for Sell A beautiful 25' wooden hull boat. 150 HP inboard engine, includes anchor. Hey I thought that an ad for my boat would be better then a bad review of the Bulletin Board. On the plus side, the sound was good, the picture was in focus, well most of the time and it was in color. The story was well, it was...Ummmm....Sort of...There was this hockey player...There was a german girl...They are on the train talking...It was in color. -- By jparker1955, Posted on Friday, February 14, 2003
This is great! Thank you! I was losing all hope and then I was assigned this to review. Best I have seen yet. Looks good, sounds great, structure clean and effective. You used the cuts between the hockey players and the coummuter train to good advantage, creating action and movement to carry the dialogue. You had a vision and executed it simply and with some skill. Look forward to more of your work. -- By winnie, Posted on Thursday, February 13, 2003
He shoots, He scores!! Quite simply I liked this film. And a lot more than I should have. It is the sign of good potential, I think, to be able to tell a simple oft told story yet still make it watchable. You were brave in your directing to keep it straightforward and believe in the story you'd written. On that point the story was nicely structured and nicely told. Too many short films, my own included suffer from a need to impress visually and because of this leave story and character by the wayside. The acting could have been tighter. The music worked very well though and fits the feel of the movie. Overall not groundbreaking cinema but we all have to start somewhere, apoint lost on most of us fledging film makers.Good job. well done. keep them coming. -- By Chillibo, Posted on Tuesday, February 11, 2003
My posting This short was intresting, but lacked the emotion that would have made it compelling. The acting lacked in the locker room scenes where the contrasts where made to the paralleling story. The cuts on the editing floor where quite good to establish the contrast between the two stories, but the only part where it worked was the scene where the team was in their box: Well done. Overall the short was good, but dialogue lacked and story was not grabing. I Liked the shot selection, but that wasn't enough. -- By raffaele16, Posted on Monday, February 10, 2003
I've been there. From a technical standpoint, this film didn't have good lighting. That's the only negative thing I could possibly say about it. The story and the actors worked excellent together. Casting was well done and it was portrayed with realism. I wonder at times about those people I met briefly and had intrigueing conversations with, although very briefly, who made a strong enough impression to make me wonder about them later. I like to think we have all had this experience. I have true hope for bulletin board. I hope it finds a match that can bring it along further. -- By mikerembis, Posted on Friday, February 7, 2003
Pretty good This is the best thing I have seen so far! Not to say it didn't have a few problems but it was well done! I found some of the back and forth a little disturbing. Maybe it was timing. But that is simply nothing more than an artistic difference so take it with a grain of salt. Overall it looked really nice. It had a few moments of bad acting but nothing that would prevent me from recommending it. -- By JDSwiney, Posted on Thursday, February 6, 2003
what a pudz Finally a film thats a film. It has a story, emothion, acting, and someone has put thought into it. I did think the hero was a dork for a hockey player. There's not too many hockey players that are that shy. The actor did a good job of dispaying the right emotions. From the hero edging away from the girl on the subway from nervousness to the dumbfounded look on the three hockey players when he says he just left. -- By jennyl, Posted on Thursday, February 6, 2003
Enjoyable Overall, I thought it was an enjoyable short. I found it at times to be a bit dragging and probably could have been cut a little tighter. However, I thought the story and concept were very interesting even cute and the acting was pretty good on all parts. I think a good job was done in almost all areas. Thanks for an entertaining ten minutes and good luck with your other projects! -- By jasonmaclean, Posted on Monday, February 3, 2003
Nice, nice, nice Ah, a real storyteller. It makes me smile to truly see a full story unfold on the screen. So glad you decided to post it and wish you the best of luck with your certainly rising career. As for any improvements, perhaps the camera work was a bit shaky (not literally - it just needed work). Also, there was a bit of a let down in the ending. But overall, it's a strong piece. -- By Workingonset, Posted on Saturday, February 1, 2003
well, the end says it all Perhaps the compensating video experience was undermined by the jumpy quality I seem to get with all the RealVideo films, but the story seemed weak for a ten minute film. Perhaps it is a brief autobiographical moment, but its long "short film" for the concept. The acting and the cuts were well done, and it's easy to see why the woman is wondered about--she is gorgeous. -- By deuce4, Posted on Saturday, February 1, 2003
Nice Job! Excellent story. Although, it was semi-anti-climactic, but I didn't mind. The characters were well casted and the "friendship" between the hocky players seemed almost real. The acting could have used a little work, but overall it sounded well done. Congratulations, you get a "consider" **cheers** -- By Mattchaos, Posted on Friday, January 31, 2003
Amost... I think there is real potential here, but some work needs to be done on the script, the supporting cast, and the editing. The concept is fresh . If either expanded into a longer story or kept as a 10-minute piece, but tightened, with fewer Hockey team scenes, and polished a bit, I think this could be a really good film. I enjoyed it. (Consider one of the friends, instead of the lead, mentioning the back of the Village Voice and the lead scoffing at the idea. Then at the end, you could show the ad was really in the V.V. that his friend hands him, but that he crumbles and throws in the wastecan.) -- By Bowersar, Posted on Friday, January 31, 2003
Good This was an overall good short. I liked the story, the acting was good, and the editing was well put together. There were some small problems I had with it though, some of the lighting was a little dark, and the camera at times seemed off. I liked the music. Perhaps there could be something to cut down on, it felt like it dragged at points. -- By dprzygoda, Posted on Friday, January 31, 2003
Aw shucks. That was pretty cute. A well conceived and well crafted short. Primarily, this works because the male lead, Jace? McClean is cast perfectly. He has an unassuming innocence that is just right for the role. Alexandra Donhoeffner is certainly beautiful, but looks a little out of her element discussing hockey. Their chemistry could have been a little better but it I realize it is supposed to be an awkward moment. Otherwise the dialogue and male comraderie is believeable. Funny, this happens to me all the time on the subway in New York. Gorgeous women are always coming up to me trying to pick me up. Yeah, right. Remind me to bring my hockey stick. But I suppose those Germans are famous for being warm and outgoing. Still I was happy to along for the ride. Well done, Joe. -- By spacemax, Posted on Friday, January 31, 2003
TS REVIEWS: PERSONAL SOUNDTRACK
ReplyDeletehonest I enjoyed this. It didnt grab me by the seat of my pants but nevertheless it was a well written, well shot short. I thought the timing was good, 5 mins for this seemed spot on, and if it had been longer I feel it may have outstayed its welcome. It was a good concept and I liked how it was shot - there was a good choice of angles and these were well cut together. The widescreen did look good and gave it a cinematic feel. The whole story was cohesive so this points to good collaborative work by Jill and Joe. The performances were fitting for the film; not outstanding, but they didnt need to be. They were functional performaces. As I mentioned above, I liked this. It had an honest quality about it, nothing forced, not done to show off but to express something within - I wish more filmmakers had a similar approach. -- By uberam, Posted on Thursday, February 24, 2005
Interesting I really like the concept of the film about how we create things in order to make sense and I liked the feeling of watching the man think about the girl and then being in her world. It was an interesting concept that turned out well.It slowed down just a bit too much during the bathroom scene but aside from that the pacing was on the money. Shots looked good.An interesting and refreshing film that certainly was different from my expectations and for the better. Good job. -- By conexc, Posted on Monday, February 21, 2005
Refreshing This is a refreshing short. It is very different, but in a "fresh" way. I liked the style of the short, and I enjoyed the music. The music was a good choice for the short. Although there is no "story structure", it is more of a "slice of life" short, it is enjoyable. Good work. -- By wasti, Posted on Saturday, February 19, 2005
Pretty Dull I dunno, I just get the feeling these people telling me their opinions are so self-satisfied, so happy with themselves and their wisdom, that I'm not interested in them. I don't care about them, and my mind isn't blown by their observations about life. The whole thing is put together competently, but without any real inspiration. OK, some of their musings are cute, but is that enough for a 5 min movie. Not for me. Films about people that love themselves so much are a huge turn off, in my opionion. I want to see people struggling with conflicts - external or internal - that's why i go to the movies. If all goes well, I identify with those conflicts and I come away with something. What am I supposed to come away with from this? That AD people in NY are self-satisfied and think they understand the Universe. They don't. -- By **DELETED ACCOUNT**, Posted on Friday, February 18, 2005
Personal Soundtrack... I like the concept of the writer taking us with him on the brainstorm and creation of the character. The narration/V.O is nice and subtle...not forceful to prove a point but enough to make you think. The shots are extremely nice - a variety of perspectives that add interest. The editing overall was very well done. There isn't a whole lot I have to criticize other than that things are almost too subtle. I think some pointes need to be emphasized a bit more to make the audience really care. My favorite part about it was the camera work. Good luck to you! -- By vel, Posted on Friday, February 18, 2005
Good Work! This really worked for me. I liked it a lot. Jill has that endearing Meg Tilly thing going on so the innocent sweetness of her character really works. The dark scene in the bathroom just went to crap in the compression stage I see, but that is to be expected. I really like the way this was shot, written and acted. The shot where the camera is looking up and goes over backwards with the trees is cool. I hope that you all can do some more stuff and keep it coming to the Street! -- By DarinG, Posted on Thursday, February 17, 2005
Looks amazing A mature short dealing with a subject everyone can relate to. There were some clever touches here, particularly in the voice-over and some very nice visuals. The whole piece had a very naturalistic look but, at times, was a little too dark - but this didn't spoil it at all. My only gripe is that it was a bit too slow and ponderous for my tastes. -- By paul13, Posted on Wednesday, February 16, 2005
P.S. Guys, this film looks great. You should be proud of yourselves. For a couple hundred bucks, this is a fantastic achievement. The sound was great, although, and it really pains me to say this, but the girl's voice over wasn't as good as the guys. I didn't think she was as strong. The visuals were terrific. It was fun to watch the shots, and it still amazes me as to what you can achieve with MiniDV when you take time to set up shots, make sure it's lit properly and the camera is in the hand of someone with talent. I am seriously looking forward to your next one. -- By johnschwab, Posted on Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Well Done This short was very well done. I like the VO work a lot. It sounds like natural thought. Plus the camera work was very good, great use of close ups and moving shots. A couple of shots were too dark. Editing was great, simple cuts in the right places and this helped with the mood of the peice. Doing a little color correction might have helped a little more. Overall it was very calming, the idea was portayed very well. Music was good. Titles were great. It wasn't too long or short. I'm courious as to where this idea would go. Might be fun to make it longer with some more of the same. Great work. -- By ohthehum, Posted on Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Review Nice hand-held work but it probably could have been shorter than five minutes. The narration worked well, but sometimes less is more, this also could have worked quite well as a silent, or near silent production. Great exterior shots and great title! All in all a pretty decent viewing. Keep up the good work and good luck! -- By krkptr1, Posted on Saturday, February 12, 2005
Soundtrackular There was some kind of universal appeal here, and I believe that you have made something 'real' as you say. I like the ideas suggested by both characters, sometimes inspiring, sometimes thought provoking, always interesting. The visual design for the film was pretty good, love the widescreen. The lighting was a little inconsistent in places, like in the bathtub, which made it feel more home-movie-esque, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. Nice work, and best of luck with the festival... -- By Matt Burn, Posted on Friday, February 11, 2005
Good Job Nice film. Great Phogography throughout the entire film. I loved the humor that flowed throughout it as well. The music was calm and did not take away focus from the story. Only comment I have that could really be considered negative is that this movie doesn't seem to have a begining middle and an end. It is just this surreal strain of ideas photographed and scored. It is really nice and I enjoyed it thoroughly it's just that now as I think about it, it didn't seem to me like there was a charachter arc or a change or anything. Everything was the same as it was in the begining. It's tough to have so much in a five minute film, but i think a story is always good. Your film was thoroughly entertaining and did make me think about a fw things. You should put a script together and make a feature. I'd love to see that. Let me know of future projects cause i love this style of filmmaking. Just stry to have a more complete story next time. Kickass Job! -- By license2thirl, Posted on Thursday, February 10, 2005
Blatantly Subtle indeed. This is one of those films that's really tough to review. I liked it and it left me with a really nice feeling at the end, although I'm not completely sure how to describe it. Let me try... It felt really effortless, though from reading your production notes it sounds like a lot of work went into it. It doesn't really tell much of a story, or have a lot of dialogue, but it says a lot. On the surface there isn't much there, but it hits you in the subconsious. Nice production values all around. I'm very impressed. The girl keeps thinking; "How do I make the world a better place?" And I say; "Keep making movies like this." -- By xrats, Posted on Thursday, February 10, 2005
very professional I liked this short film alot! but I'm not really sure why. Doesn't make sense, I know, but as a film student in Boston this film reminded me so many times walking the streets with my own soundtrack in my head. Everything was professional, the shots, the angles, the sound, everything. I recommend this to all. -- By tommyfilm, Posted on Thursday, February 10, 2005
i liked it i thought it was a well constructed piece. The shots of the city looked great and well shot. Alot of plus points to take away from this film such as the concept, the acting was simple but effective for the story, the voice overs and soundtrack were excellent too. i cant find too much wrong with this film. -- By thegfather, Posted on Sunday, February 6, 2005
Good music coices, not sure about the VO So, I liked the way this was shot. The inserts intercut with the wides was very professional. I liked the choice of music and the editing, I just didn't connect with the story, which is my biggest problem with many triggerstreet shorts. The technique is there, but the fundamentals of storytelling are lacking. The VO (although I know it was writing) seemed intrusive on an otherwise great mood. I think that if you can apply your technical savvy to a more engaging story, you will really have something. The bathroom stuff reminded me of the suicide scene in Rules of Attraction. -- By almostfamousnoah, Posted on Wednesday, February 2, 2005
Not sure I go the message I seem to be missing the point in a lot of the films these days. Maybe uit was just too blaantly subtle for me. I'm afraid the voice overs did not work either. I realize that this was a 'personal' project for the two of you and perehaps that is why you decided to try for it all but the voices have to go. The video work was good on the whole and the sound seemed a little too basey for me. I just could not to believe that Jill was a consultant for a large commercial company. As a small personal project I am sure that you are happy with it . As a film it had no substance. -- By Brummie, Posted on Tuesday, February 1, 2005
What a wonderfully shot and edited film I'm not sure I love the story, but right now, that's beside the point. The way the movie was shot, the way it was edited gave it a 'bigness' that most short films simply can't achieve. That transcends the story and makes this a great short film. The frame of the guy writing about a girl trying to create a commercial isn't necessarily my favorite device, but it's not bad. The film gets props for its look and feel, and that's more than enough to make me want to watch more of your work. -- By Pyronics, Posted on Saturday, January 29, 2005
Wonderful.....blatantly subtle This is beautiful film. It's tremendously warm and cozy and feels like love story but without the cheese. Your widescreen technique certainly paid off, and you didn't abuse it - there are some gorgeously framed images that show a real interest in photography. I feel like i don't want to say too much because it'll ruin the feeling and mood by taking it apart. Instead im just gonna say it's all very, very, nice. The soundtrack has made me sleepy and i have an urge to cozy up with a big cup of tea and a muffin. Wonderful, well done. -- By synthesizedtv, Posted on Friday, January 28, 2005
Observant I liked the opening. It suggested a hypothetical story based on imagination. However the actual story proved more real and could have just as easily been a one person film. The writer role was defunkt. That aside I liked a lot of the observations and ideas with people minds. But still it felt like a lot of ideas and clever lines mashed together into one film rather than a line of thought held together. For me the film was too bitty to leave me with anything when the credits rolled. I suggest having a theme more clearly established and rovolve around that for your next project. All the best! Nathan -- By Nathan, Posted on Friday, January 28, 2005
and then it was over This filim felt more like an introduction than a complete thought. As I write I am still mulling over whether that works for me or not. I rush to write because I feel the most appropriate response to this type of work is stream of consiousness.First of all, It felt like it just dropped off. I also feel like it probably falls short of reaching most of your audience.... like to many spaces were left blank. The compositions were very strong throughout most of the piece. The lighting was weak in most, and between the dated GL-1 and the unfortunate effect of compression, I had to do a lot of imagining to make it look better in my mind.The voice of the female lead is enchanting. I enjoyed more how the voice over was delivered than what was actually said. There seems to be a fine line between spoonfeeding thoughts to a viewer and keeping them subtle. In this case Blatantly Subtle is a great name for the production co. Although it could have been less of both at times and therefore been a more successful short. Keep On! -- By jimmy4444, Posted on Thursday, January 27, 2005
Very broad... Well, I liked the cinematography and the sound was good. The quality was nice. I just didn't care too much for the story. When it started, I thought it was going to be him creating this character and some kind of story comes out of it. But it was nothing. He created someone who's just like everyone else. It just seemed empty. I didn't really feel the emotion from this one. Sorry. I do see potential for your next one though. You just need a little more to your story. Of course, I didn't get a chance to read your production notes cuz it's like a bagillion words long! I just don't have that kind of time. But thanks for the view. -- By tmcarlee, Posted on Wednesday, January 26, 2005
A Short that Gives Us Hope Very nice job...I myself work in commericals and it's hard to try to figure out what people are truly thinking. What they're personal soundtrack may be. Overall the one big element that made this film truly enjoyable for me was the overall passion the filmmaker had in telling this tale. It can't put my finger on why this movie worked for me, and then I read the notes and it was clear. The filmmaker's voice was heard in every frame of this short. All the elements that made up this short, blending so flawlessly together...it's hard to point out one element...so I'll just say this...thank you for creating such a hopeful little film. This is a concept that you should really think about developing it into a feature. You'd have my eight bucks. Good Luck. -- By Sleepy Eye, Posted on Monday, January 24, 2005
a J & J film This comes across as a very personal film. It is deep. Meaningful. And full of ponderous notions. That isn't a bad thing. Just not my type of movie. So I need to look at this piece from a purely technical point of view. And it's all good. The camera work, and general mood that pervayed from every shot was clever and consistant. There was some great use of scenery. The two leads came across very strong, and empathised with the voice overs nicely. It posited its question, and answered it all within an appropriate amount of time so that it never felt laboured or outwelcome. Solid film. -- By Masked Mogul, Posted on Sunday, January 23, 2005
VERY PERSONAL CREATION Perfect pure sound truly drives this film. Good mix of shots and nice edits keep it moving well. Then, the monologues are as simple and pure as the sound. The words put the heart in this captivating little amble through the day of Courtney. The lighting in the tub scene is about the only beef I have with this wonderful film. The title is appropriate given that the sound on this film is excellent, but I would prefer something more in touch with the story. Love the lines about why we create. I get the feeling that this strong little short is a VERY PERSONAL CREATION -- By bo hitchcock, Posted on Sunday, January 23, 2005
Contemplative. Loved the pace of this piece. I just looked at your Prod. Notes and I have to say that for a "couple hundred dollars" the production values are pretty good. I liked the shot of the subway grate, the sound really pulls you down into the spaces of the street. The sound was good overall, particularly the VOs... I think you integrated them very well. Normally I hate films with a narrator but the concept of this one pulls it up strong. Mostly, I just liked the leisurely stroll you've created that takes us into the creative process that, as we all know, is mostly letting your mind wander in a specific direction. Very well done, thanks for the bright spot in the day. -- By Drongo3, Posted on Saturday, January 22, 2005
Personal soundtrack! Interesting little artistic piece. It sounds like from your production notes that you really put a lot into this. I don't see films like this on triggerstreet anymore. Great composition of the shots, especially the reflection in the glass and the simple shot looking up at the trees, really good. Can't wait to see what's next. -- By shack, Posted on Friday, January 21, 2005
Subtle indeed The soundtrack to this project was a great compliment to the story and images. Nice job on the editing. At first look, the shots/cinematography was appealing to me; clean and clear. When on sticks, the shot was a bit shakey; maybe use a heavier one next time. Most of the shots could have used some lighting. The GL-1 is a great camera, and can capture great images, only it has to be lit as if shooting film, to get its best potential. The voice over was well recorded; you could tell it wasn't recorded on a PC. As for the story...I had a difficult time buying into the "advertising consultant"...too young. In other words, her performance/character personality didn't match her up with a career in advertising. Overall, a project well made; great quality and solid film. Best of luck. -- By fedorafilms, Posted on Thursday, January 20, 2005
Tabula Rasa Blatantly subtle indeed, and while I much prefer subtlety to the common bashing-you-over-the-head with-meaning that one usually finds in shorts, this one may have been a bit too blank. A director can't simply hand the viewer a lump of clay and tell them to form it into whatever meaning they like, they need to do a bit of the shaping themselves and let the audience decide how to finish it. A dog or a cow? I hope that makes some sense. Loved the Walkmen music though, and stylistically this movie was very cool. Take an obvious stance next time, give it a shot. -- By chrisyocum, Posted on Thursday, January 20, 2005
Touching It's rare for me to be moved by shorts at all, let alone shorts on Triggerstreet, so your picture was a pleasant surprise. Images were strong, though some of the editing might have been a touch better, I thought. It was good, but for example, the shot of the narrator's shoes under the table was too fast to have any real impact, while some other shots could have been trimmed a little. You didn't seem to take risks with the shots, but they came off well. I had the impression that it was a DP and director working together for the first time -- making sure the shots looked great, but maybe avoiding spontaneous (i.e. risky) ideas. The bath to trees to blowing hair sequence was excellent, especially with the music. Story was good. The stuff about the narrator coming up with his character just barely worked, maybe because she seemed more real than he did. I guess a way to explain is that you showed him having a hard time coming up with her name, but when we saw her there was no question of who she was. I guess one way--only one of course--to push the author coming up with character thing would be to have him narrate his conflicting ideas about her and actually show them. I liked the actress very much.Good luck! -- By mmargueron, Posted on Friday, November 5, 2004
Beautiful collaboration... beautifully done What can I say... awesme! Your detailed production notes explain exactly why this is such a wonderful movie. The cinematography is outstanding. Gorgeous colors and all shots seemed very well thought out. The quality of sound was very nice. Very nice voiceovers. The music accompanying this movie was nice and subtle. The story-concept worked for me. Very thought provocking. The letterbox look. You achieved that quite well. I wouldn't have known had you not included that in your productions notes. As for you and Jill... any chance the two of you getting married? I mean, what a collaboration on film. How about life?:) Thanks for the view! -- By SeaMowse, Posted on Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Interesting I thought this was an interesting film that I left an impression. I can't say I liked it or disliked it but I applaud the experiment. The production values were professional and the actors were fine. I think this sort of experimentation is great. Although it doesn't always work and in some cases may come across as pretentious. I applaud filmmakers and writers that think outside the box and try to come up with something new. -- By dresperanto, Posted on Saturday, October 9, 2004
Perhaps it's me? This is my first film assignment, and quite frankly i didn't get it. Nothing. It starts with a interesting premise, what happen to the girls from high school.... The shift to a blattering about some bim, that's facinated by Kmart. And these supposed ideas strike her in the shower. My question is what ideas. Hasn't she heard that Raymond has definetively confirmed that "Kmart sucks". What in the world could make someone what to film its cereal shelves in facination. Perhaps it's just me -- By vincecaruso, Posted on Saturday, September 25, 2004
Personal thoughts A bunch of random thoughts going nowhere. I like story, structure, punch, anticipation. This short had none of those. It showed the creative thought process of coming up with a character and giving her some attributes, but so what? That's the part the writer wants to hide from the audience, not make the subject of a movie. Dull and pointless. "It's like a commercial. Like a box of cereal. We create things to find meaning, we create things to make our own lives make sense." What does a box of ceral have to do with anything? Are you listening to yourself? The philosophical meanderings don't make any sense. Entertain us and give us a reason to watch your film. -- By cybernaut, Posted on Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Blah This short is technically outstanding, although some footage is too dark for my taste. The narration, acting, and voiceovers are fine. But the genre "comedy" does not seem to fit. The genre "drama" does not really fit either. The concept is okay, but there is no emotional involvement or conflict in the film. It doesn't go anywhere. I would suggest adding some personal interaction and maybe revealing a concept that Courtney comes up with for a commercial. Unless I missed the point, this film does not fit a standard genre. It is more like a daydream than anything else. -- By daysrfree, Posted on Thursday, September 16, 2004
Good job This is a very subtle flick, touching on a few thoughts trough the words of the "writer" and protagonist in the form of a voice over. It is not a poem but it feels very much like it with the pictures and words melding and flowing togther over the five minutes. It is an interesting idea put together well by the director. Not really something you would see coming out of Holly Wood which of course makes it refreshing and enjoyable for what it is. This flick is not trying to be a feature condensed into five minutes but rather a creative thought expanded into some sort of understanding from the point of view of the creators - something like a poem. -- By bradleyturton, Posted on Wednesday, September 15, 2004
A waste of time There was nothing to engage my attention at first and it stayed that way. Had it been a seven minute film I would have bailed, as it is I feel I've wasted five minutes. Nothing was said about the creative process as the synopsis suggests. I found the "insights" to be annoying and so trite as to have me looking for some surprise. The presentation/pacing/edits were good, but that doesn't help me as a viewer if there's nothing interesting there. -- By cjj, Posted on Tuesday, September 7, 2004
Repetitive in a subtle, blatant kinda way In truth, there is no way to make the world better for everyone else, at least not on a grand scale. Of course, if you want to at least try to make it better, you don't frolic around trying to find the music in people to do it. I wish this film made some progressive statements. I wish this film didn't ask the same question twice, no, three times. I wish the camera angles meant something (take for instance the zoom in when she's at her office desk...what does that zoom mean? Does it mean the world isn't good enough for people? Does it mean we're missing something? I wish there was some way for this film to clue us in) When the director says that he and Miss Frutkin made this because they felt they had it in them, I wish that what was in them wasn't such a questioning attitufe, but a more search-hard-and-maybe-we-can-find-the-answer kind of attitude. I don't want to say that the film couldn't have gone anywhere, the beginning is strong, and the sound editing on the train beneath us is great, but where does it go? "We make things to find meaning in ourselves." Sure we do, but how does that help the world get better when things like misinterpretation exist? This film to me, means just about as much as a box of cereal. -- By goatarttruefoe, Posted on Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Unique This was one of the more unique films on triggerstreet and very beautifully shot. It's hard to critique stuff like this because you are choosing to go a certain route, a certain aesthetic. I could say that it feels a bit jumbled and incomplete, but I believe the purpose of this is to be a well shot stream of consciousness type film. I do think you could have quirked it up a bit and added a bit more humor to make it stand out, but overall a nice effort. -- By RiggedProductions.com, Posted on Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Courtney's Commerical I really liked this film. The mood/tone and the flow of the images and the dual dialogue really made it work for me. The voiceover is the most powerful aspect of the film. But I wanted more from it and was wishing the narrative was "tighter" and brought us some more resolution. For instance, in the opening dialogue the male lead says " I wonder what happened to all those super achievers from school.(Bad paraphrase)" That really made me sit up; it engaged me but then I was left hanging because I'm not really sure what has happened to her? Is she happy? She seems lonely? But reading the production notes tells me more about why the script jumps around it was constructed randomly and the film misses something because of that. Still I really enjoyed watching this and did so at least 3 or 4 times. Good job! -- By divinesparkfilms, Posted on Friday, August 27, 2004
Personal Soundtrack: A Review Joe Leonard and Jill Frutkin seem to have had quite a rewarding experience in shooting 'Personal Soundtrack'. It is a intense, poetic short film about the origin of ideas. Not sure what the answer is, but I did enjoy the whole short.Visually it was beautiful, and it did give me the impression - just like the production notes say... - that is was shot as a silent movie. Sound editing was excellent, with a captivating voice-over and a perfect music score. An impressive production, a bravo to the camera operator/cinematographer (I assume the same pperson) whose shots I really enjoyed.Bravo! -- By matteo prezioso, Posted on Sunday, August 22, 2004
Interesting This was a hell of concept, to explore, via the main characters, how thoughts come into being, while, as I understand it, the female lead was, in herself a thought (or idealism) of the male lead character. Did I get it? Or perhaps not: and it is here that the story falls down. It really wasn't so clear what your overall point was, nor why you wanted to share it with me: even though I found the short very appealing and interesting, I feel I didn't go away with as much as you would want me to.However, story points aside, this was very well shot, with great camera work. The edit flowed nicely, with the aid of good sound work and good voice overs. Lighting and the generalized feel of the piece worked very well.Overall, this was a very nicely produced short, but I was left a little confused about what you wanted to tell me. I look forward to seeing your next work. -- By justinb, Posted on Saturday, August 21, 2004
Overall a great effort and wonderful exercise in mood and how to make dv look smart. What I liked: The cinematography in this film was its most outstanding feature. I thought that it made excellent use of dv format, it looked nice, even a little gritty in a good way. The color pallet and the backdrop of the city gave this film a great mood. I thought the voice-overs tied together well and the helped give the film a nice watery flow. What I thought could use a bit of tweaking:I was a bit stumped, thematically. I think I understand the ideas, I just think they were almost too many for a five minute piece. I mean I think the over-all theme was kind of I create therefore I am mixed with I am so that I can understand but thats hard? To me it seem like the writers had a bunch of good one-liners, like the personal soundtracks, the best thinking in the bath and thought really hard about how to put them all together in one five minute piece. While I think it was wonderfully Blatantly Subtle I thought it was just a bit forced. -- By nekosdownfall, Posted on Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Great Cinematography! The shot composition of this film was incredible. From the lighting, to the angles, to the shadows - just great. The quality was so great for a digital film, in fact, that at times it rivaled 35mm. The story may have been a little too simplistic to grasp; however very interesting and intriguing. This film deviated from format, but in excellent taste. It was artistic in a way that wasn't so cerebral that it was too difficult to follow - fesh and innovative storytelling is always a plus. -- By diotray, Posted on Sunday, August 15, 2004
"Isn't the weather wonderful?" Yes, it is. What a beautiful little film. The concept, in all of the complexity of bending back and forth between the idea in motion and the idea's creator, is so well executed that I am unable to point out anything but positives. A simple but effective title sequence. Clean, professional sound work, from the narration that drives the film to the subtle musical score beneath. And the cinematography by Justina Mintz--Wow! Every scene was simple and important at the same time, every shot was beautifully rendered and professionally executed; I found myself taking mental notes to apply to my next project. The bathroom scene especially had a sweet, yet somehow aching sensuality to it. Bravo to the director. Keep the film team that you assembled for this project on your speed dial, and please show me more! -- By jlevering, Posted on Friday, August 13, 2004
Ad Exec Liked the wide screen use for this film, good edits, and the background music suited this young lady's journey. I have known an ad exec or two, and this was so true to form on how they often get their ideas, you have to be able to color outside the box, and there is a lot of communication involved; and above all else keeping a pulse on the changes and trends. It's a tough job, but it takes a special person, and I think this short film captured that. -- By Tiger, Posted on Thursday, August 12, 2004
personal soundtrack review... Great SF title. The audio is very good as well as the voiceovers. The camerawork is great and the edits are good. This is a really great short film, it should have been in the top 50 selection for the film festival. The script is great. Congrats on getting permission from the Walkmen, beautiful music. The lighting is fine and the acting was wonderfully subtle. Continued Success! -- By blackgrrrl, Posted on Monday, July 26, 2004
Not bad The narrator's voice was a little on the boring side and I wasn't a big fan of the concept, but really enjoyed the filming and transitions to the different scenes. I just had a hard time staying focused on a girl riding through K-Mart. From a writer's point I wasn't a big fan but from a viewers point and watching it from a film perspective, I think they have talent and obviously know their way around a camera. Best of luck to you! -- By MelanieC, Posted on Thursday, May 6, 2004
Great Script The most striking thing about this flick was the writing, which was truly excellent. It was instantly involving and the ideas were very rich. Great stuff. Visually this was no slouch either, the MiniDV often transcending its digital origins. Use of music was understated and very skilled too. I liked this one alot. -- By Al80, Posted on Monday, March 29, 2004
A little too slow Not to rain on anyones parade, but I found this film to be a little boring. I liked the concept and the story but, the editing was way too slow. I think that some of the scenes should have been chopped a bit more. Also, the voice over was very monotonous. Other then that good composition and cinematography. If you could fix the pacing I think this piece would be very solid. -- By DamageX, Posted on Monday, March 29, 2004
Wonderful God, I liked this film, for all sorts of reasons. Loved the shot composition & editing; interesting without being pretentious. I thought the voiceovers were perfect; very naturalistic. Music great. Besides all the technical brilliance, best of all was the STORY. Very clever, moody and cool. It demonstrated a lot of talent. Keep doing it! -- By balchco, Posted on Saturday, March 27, 2004
Unusual The first half of this film was brilliant... it was shot great, edited well & kept me interested, but my concentration drifted in the second half. The camera work was top notch all the way & the concept was cute, but I guess the final droplet of wisdom ultimately didnt work for me. It was okay, but I guess I wanted more (I really was spoiled by the quality of the first half.) Overall a good hit & miss, yet very atmospheric short... all the shots were very well thought out & the filmmakers have definite high talent. -- By tompriestley, Posted on Tuesday, March 23, 2004
I like this film I like this film. The scene in which the guy is fluffing his hair in the window reflection particularly struck me. It was simply well directed and sound was done well. I have to agree with others on the point about K-Mart scene, it was a bit distracting. I am interested to see more from Joe Leonard in the future. -- By srgannon, Posted on Sunday, March 21, 2004
Subtlely subtle A very likeable film. I am not sure that my interpretation of the story is THE interpretation the filmmakers intended or if it is the same as any other viewer's. However I suspect that the filmmakers set out to make a film that can be different things depending on who is watching. I like the themes of loneliness and creation that were addressed. The voice overs worked for me and I tend not to like voice overs very much. The female's voice had an odd (but not bad) quality to it. It sounded sort of childlike or as if she were trying to supress an accent. Was this intentional? This didn't detract from the film, it just stood out to me. I didn't see the IBM commercial referred to in the notes. I would almost suggest taking that out of the synopsis and burying it in the prod. notes because that WAS a distraction (trying to connect which commercial this is referring to). Just leave it at "Where do ideas come from?" and let the viewer enjoy. Good job, people. -- By Hal Jordan, Posted on Friday, March 12, 2004
Sweet, positive and likeable! The voiceovers were well done, with lots of expression and the filming and soundtracks were lovely. It's a good concept and was very enjoyable to watch. I didn't see the commercial you refer to in the synopsis, but it strikes me that this format would work particularly well for a commercial in which you want to endorse your employees as being thoughtful, caring, and upbeat. Keep up your good work. I'd love to see more. -- By anna macuch, Posted on Tuesday, March 9, 2004
5 mins of well crafted work This was a tight film all the way around. The V.O. makes it tough to rank the acting but the cinematography made up for any lack (if any at all) in the acting department. The music was good and very fitting for the film. The editing was fitting also. The short captures perfectly that little moment we have all encountered when trying to come up with ideas. Also a very interesting view point of an idea within an idea. -- By oneshotremedy, Posted on Monday, March 8, 2004
Good work on DV This short was a very nicely crafted mood piece, with just enough stuff happening during the five minutes to keep you interested right to the end. I think it's real strengths were technical ones - the filmmakers really worked hard on the photography of the short, so much so that at points you really couldn't tell it was shot on DV - well done there. However, I think this would have been better appreciated if you had managed to upload a better render of the short. With regards to the story, I thought it was quite touching, but I found the ending somewhat unsatisfactory - it ended too suddenly I thought. -- By amas pictures, Posted on Tuesday, February 24, 2004
I don't get it. I don't get anything about what your movie is about. Is it just a fly on the wall flick? However, I did enjoy your visual edits. They kept me 'glued' for most of the 5min. The music was as mono-toned and beatless as the narration and visuals (ie they all worked well together). If your intension was capturing everydag drudgery, then you hit the nail on the head. There is enough in this movie to make me want to see more of your work. -- By triggertreat, Posted on Friday, February 20, 2004
5 minutes...once This film was OK. It said some interesting things and I think that it was nicely put together and the voiceovers were good - being British I like the 'real' American accent. However, the content of the film left me with no desire to watch again - I apologise if I am just being ignorant to the artistic nature of film creation. -- By glovemonkies, Posted on Wednesday, February 18, 2004
Touching Although not subtile in any way (the message is pounded on continuously), I have to admit, the isolation of the main characters got to me. A nice mood, never overdone with flashy effects, very well composed images, editing that flowed like a warm breeze and the overall humanity of the project make it somewhat more interesting that the average trying-to-impress short. The only segment I'm not sure of is the K-Mart sequence...not sure what it's supposed to be: a message against consumerism, a way to demonstrate the lonelyness of the young women, I don't know? But never has this minor element of distraction (again...this is ME!) stop me from enjoying this very personal and engaging film. It's reassuring to see something different. Keep it up! -- By devenir, Posted on Monday, February 16, 2004
Came together perfectly for me. I loved the message or what hinted at a message in the film, which was what we can do to make peoples lives better. Positive outlook, I like that in a film. Some spots in this movie were dark and some camera was shaky, but to tell you the truth, I really didn't care too much because I loved the way it was shot. Everything came together for me perfectly, ,Edits, soundtrack, VO all great.. Do I think it could have been a more complete thought, yes. But I still found it to be a great little short. Creativity is the backbone of this country and so many take it for grated because they'd rather sit and watch FRIENDS. Get up and do something, like this filmmaker did, and make people think. Nice job! -- By monkeman, Posted on Sunday, February 15, 2004
Blatantly Subtle This movie, while expertly shot, and eloquently imagistic, lives up to the name of the production company that created it... Blatantly Subtle. I enjoyed the film, but upon second viewing, I felt like I was left out in the cold, and I was frustrated that I couldn't get back in. I haven't seen the IBM commercial during the Super Bowl, and I feel like I should have to understand this film. I'm not sure what the intention of the film-maker is... Courteney is a consultant for a company that creates ideas for commercials... she imagines people's personal soundtracks... does she think commercials can really make people happy? I'm not sure. I just wish it were a little less obtuse, a little less blatantly subtle. -- By iggywhite, Posted on Saturday, February 14, 2004
Hit my Soundtrack This to me is a very fine short. The mood really got me. In the times of faster and louder, this is a nice film to just watch and have thoughts about without being pushed constantly. I enoyed the pace and the edit. However, i would have liked the indoor scenes to have a better light, the DV format needs light too, sometimes even more. I liked this film,JJ -- By FilmJJ, Posted on Friday, February 13, 2004
Personal Sound Track a 5 minute story Since the days of elementary school, I have always dreaded writting reviews (or book reports) on stuff. Personal Sound Track is a rather interesting short of a story with in a story. The writers (or editors) allow you to see the story as it is being written which creates a rather interesting feel to the short. There is no fun violence or debauchery in the short. The writers do manage to keep the story fun, but light. It's nice to see a short that isn't over the top, but more like a fictional slice of life. All in all, I'd rate Personal Sound Track as rather more interesting then "The Barber of Seville" , but less exciting then the General Lee escaping from Roscoe. -- By Rodenburg, Posted on Wednesday, February 11, 2004
Beautiful Day "Beautiful Day" by U2, that is my personal soundtrack. That is what i thought of when i finished watching this film. What would my personal soundtrack be? You made me think and that means the short will stick with me. I found this film to be very inspiring. It was beautifully shot with well composed and balanced shots. The voice over was excellent, the actress did a fantastic job. The music was the key though, very subtle, it set the mood. I feel this is what a short short (not a mistake, intended for any short under 10 min) should be. Excellent job. Well done. -- By bee152, Posted on Tuesday, February 10, 2004
A Decent Effort I thought that this film had an interesting visual style, but—like so man y commercials—it lacked the content to support its style. I think there is the start of an interesting point of view coming from the makers of this film, but consider looking deeper than your day jobs for inspiration. Have you seen “Barton Fink� It’s very tricky to make films about the artistic process early in a career as it comes off as lacking inspiration. I enjoyed the music and thought that the film was nicely edited. Keep trying. -- By jnowak, Posted on Monday, February 9, 2004
good film technically... but story needs work I watched the film a couple of times and I must say you can feel 'New York' in it. The filck had many good points... well edited, good coloration, the music and the shots were particularly good. The shots at the end with, the diner, the trees against the sky and cutting to her hair and so on were good. The sound of the narration was good... the man's voice had the sound of a good narrator, a voice you don't mind listening to. however, my problem is with the story. I kinda see where you are going, but at the same time not really... put it this way - without the technical virtuoso I think this would be dull. it's kinda is dull as it is. The only way it wouldn't be dull is if you find the narrator's comments fascinating... and I frankly did not. -- By barefoot, Posted on Saturday, January 31, 2004
K-Mart has cereal? I like the idea that the thoughts running through our minds are our "Personal Soundtrack". I've read a couple of reviews noting the random nature of the dialog - but aren't the thoughts in our heads in fact random? Given that we are listening inside their heads to their Personal Soundtracks, I thought the dialog was perfect. Really good music - I really liked the song that played the last half, very melancholy yet poignant and gentle also. It really fit the tone of the short there, in fact help create it. Nice work composing your shots - lots of close-ups cut with wide angles - and they were edited together really well; as a result the movie moves at a nice pace and I wasn't bored for even a second. My "Personal Soundtrack" never interfered with my viewing of this short! LOL. Great work on finding locations, and the performance by the young actress was perfectly subdued and thoughtful. I really liked this short. -- By Spodaking, Posted on Thursday, January 29, 2004
wow good stuff. i thought the camera shots were great!!! i love to see a NEW YORK CITY FILM!!! i know how hard it is to shoot here. its crazy . easy to get away with because so many people have cameras.. i love d the reflection in the window. great shot of the trees...the cinematography was unbelieveable in this. i really enjoyed it! i totally reccomend this!!! you guys are greeat! -- By PictureItFilms, Posted on Wednesday, January 28, 2004
many brilliant themes but not focused enough i liked the opening line of the film and the use of voice-over with images in the coffee shop. however, i felt that you took a different direction from what you established at the beginning. the relationship between the two main characters was not apparent. thought it was cool how courtney is shown passing in front of the writer's coffeeshop window, but again:going from the initial reflection on overachievers in school, to a description of this character/actual person "i'll just call courtney", to a smattering of thought on "i wonder if it's possible to make everyone happy" et al. there seems to me not to be as much congruity as there could be between all these various strands/concepts, not to mention tying them in with your theme "where do ideas come from?"in short, i think that the film had too many brilliant but unconnected strands of thought, and also, when courtney began wondering in the bathtub, i found myself not really caring what she thought, though that whole line of thinking showed some promise. tighten your focus guys(maybe around the 'ideas' concept'), and help people care about the characters, and this will be an awesome film. -- By rodeoclown, Posted on Wednesday, January 28, 2004
I don't know - where do ideas come from? This was one of the only movies I watched twice before writing the review. Because, for the life of me, I can't figure out why I don't like it. I like everything about it - the camera work, the voice-overs, the soundtrack, editing - all the elements were all accomplished with adequate skill. But I still don't get it. Personal Soundtrack? - is that supposed to be the thoughts that we hear from inside Joe and Jill's/ writer and Courtney's heads? And the synopsis for the first time confused me instead of clued me in. Unless it's just implying that the short is just random thoughts bouncing about, and that's where ideas come from? (I did like the beginning/ending tie in with Courtney walking by the author's window seat.) I tried the listed link for background info but got a 404 error. As a regular reviewer with no uploads to date, the question of where ideas come from is important to me as I am presently stuck in a quite lengthy writer's block trying to think of a decent idea for a short. Unfortunately this one didn't give me an answer. Still, I will recommend it for future consideration because maybe it's great and I just don't get it. -- By marctheriault, Posted on Saturday, January 24, 2004
Personal Soundtrack Review This wistful and thought provoking short is beautifully conceived and executed from first frame to last. Whilst the subject matter is, of its nature, interior and cerebral you have skilfully opened the film out with many well designed and arresting images. I wasn� sure whether the tone was intentionally melancholy (with Courteney ending up alone on her birthday, not even on a work day), but it was touching nevertheless. If you intended a message that there is something intrinsically solitary about the creative process which tends to set artistic people apart from general society then perhaps you could afford to spell this out more. Overall this is a terrific film which is rare in being not a second too long for its subject matter. Thanks. -- By arunbharali, Posted on Saturday, January 24, 2004
very good I liked it, perhaps because I too sometimes have thoughts like this and come to similar conclusions about people, society, life, etc. That's one aspect of this film. The other aspect of course is the way of presenting those ideas. In this film it is done with voice over from start to finish. And the things the 2 characters "think" about are mostly unconnected and unfinished. They don't say what it means to them or what they think about it, they simply throw those questions out there without giving their perspective. Much like asking the question aloud, and only thinking what the answer might be. Well, maybe that's the point. I don't know. I think there might be a better way to present those ideas, give them more power and actually say something with your film, as opposed to making in into a lullaby. Although a very nice one. -- By cccp, Posted on Wednesday, January 21, 2004
Real For those of us who are truly content with our lives. Who could honestly exclaim, "I am happy" at uncomfortable functions, between a sip of cranberry juice and a bite of coconut shrimp. Who watch beauty with overemphasis in hopes that it will glance back, even for a moment. And then return home to dirty dishes and a sock stealing cat, and think about the last time we shared a truly pure moment with someone, and think about how long ago that was. And peak out the window and wish that someone was standing down below looking up as they dance from side to side to keep warm. And still think, I'm happy, but add "... I suppose". I like your movie. It hit the spot. -- By aluminumrabbit, Posted on Friday, January 16, 2004
Critique The end result of Personal Soundtrack is a little muddy. There is a lot of good here, the images, most of the lighting (bathtub scene and office a touch dark) the voiceover is good, but not read very well - too apt to put people off, or to sleep. Camera work is very consistent and flows extremely well - there are some beautiful symmetrical images here which represent your story perfectly. Expected more from it somehow, you had opprtunities, and you pulled alot of good things off, (I really like the POV shot looking at people walking through the city) but it needs... something. I'm not sure what, but it isn't far off. -- By bearbryant84, Posted on Tuesday, January 13, 2004
alright well overall i lost all desire to watch this during the beginning while i was noticing sometimes overlooked details. like to do the widescreen you could have cropped your image to the exact widescreen size witch would also lower your file size. which leads to much next point. with the extra space you could have raise the quality on the video so i could see what was going on. i didn't like your narration. they seemed like they reading versus talking. also your lighting was a little off at times -- By buckfumbler, Posted on Monday, January 12, 2004
Very Nice This is one of the first few short films I've watched on here and I rather enjoyed it. Wonderfully poetic yet slightly pointless at the same time. I really liked some of the shots, following Courtney's legs for example. Yet others felt odd, mainly the extended shot of the subway grate signalling the train moving beneath it. The dialogue was excellent and well read by both. I really can't put my finger on it, but something about this just worked. It's nicely edited as well. -- By Fight, Posted on Monday, January 12, 2004
Soundtrack Review Terrific shot choices and composition. The lighting was a big problem in a few scenes (i.e.- Her office), but the sound was very good. The problem with this film is that the imagery overshadows the VO so strongly that I finished watching the film and thought, "What was the story again?" You definitely have a keen eye for striking visuals. You definitely have talent. -- By DeadRinger, Posted on Sunday, January 11, 2004
Interesting and well shot I thought the concept of this film was interesting, but that somehow the subtlety of the screenwriter imaging the story and the main character explaining her ideas was confusing, but again this is a subtle film... and subtlety is not my forte.I think that you could remove one of the characters and still have an interesting, concise, creative movie that tells its story in an entertaining way.It was shot well and I love the main character shopping in Kmart.Good job. -- By Jodihink, Posted on Friday, January 9, 2004
A nice concept, but it's missing something I like the quality of the visual work, here. Very well blocked out and shot. The widescreen made this look very cinematic. However, the story was lacking purpose. I didn't see the purpose of the man in the coffee shop writing. He didn't seem to be contributing anything to the idea. And although I can see what point you were trying to make, you didn't visually do anything with it. A film needs to do more than just say something, it needs to show it. I didn't feel that the images really reflected anything the narrative was saying. But the images were captured very impressively. -- By Hall E Woode, Posted on Friday, January 9, 2004
It would be amazing to hear thoughts This had a pro feel to it all the way. Really enjoyed it and I was so unaware just how subtle the filmmaker was taken me in to his vision. It was done so effortlessly. Hats off, Joe. I loved it. A small gripe, I didn't think the VO was delivered as powerful as I thought it could be. I like the words, even the pacing, just didn't like the voice. Funny thing, how the mind works. Nevertheless, a great piece and triggerstreet should be proud to have it on the site. I know I am. -- By CharlieBrown, Posted on Thursday, January 8, 2004
now hear this I can dig it I liked the fact that he was writing the story she was telling, and she was telling the story that he was writing. a really cool idea, an original. The shots were clean, the editing was smooth, and the music was awesome .your personal soundtrack is pretty good. I liked the walking shots. the only thing that I would have really loved to see is a faster start. it was a little slow you only have 5:00 to do it. It as although only a minor thing and in the big picture it surely would be overlooked. good job -- By akim1, Posted on Thursday, January 8, 2004
Is that Bob Dylan singing in the background? This is a really well done short, but I would think it's more of an opening few minutes to a longer film-- it's like something you'd see to open a romance or romantic comedy. The camera work, sound and music really add texture and depth to the story (although it may not so much be a story as much as an imaginative question). Extremely strong on theme, but I would have liked to see a stronger sense of character/plot for it to work on its own as a short, though. Nicely done! -- By RW67, Posted on Thursday, January 8, 2004
Look at all this cereal This is one of the best shorts I’ve seen on this website! It has substance! It’s Artistic! I love the way the director filmed it! This was great! I only have one small gripe, the lighting seemed a little too dark in some of the scenes. Other than that wow! Keep up the good work! -- By Brianshaggy, Posted on Wednesday, January 7, 2004
Courtney's Great Adventure "Personal Soundtrack" is an odd composition of thoughts which doesn't really come together well enough to make a strong statement about anything. Is our central character, Courtney, the fabrication of a writer thinking out loud onto the film? Is she an ad for K-Mart? Who cares if her best thoughts are in the bathtub? If this film delivered what is indicates from its title and from part of the film, i.e., an examination of the thoughts people have in their heads while they are walking down the street, the possibilities and realization could be great. But that doesn't happen here, and it comes off as sounding a bit pretentious, like an empowerment seminar that similar doesn't tell you how. -- By WorldGazer, Posted on Sunday, January 4, 2004
Best TS film I don't have a bad thing to say about. The music complimented the film perfectly. The acting was well done. When I start shooting my shorts I hope they all turn out this well. I'm not sure if the music is copywritten or not, but I would hate to see them take the film off the site because it was. -- By Cold October Falls, Posted on Saturday, December 27, 2003
Good job! Technically excellent...i mean the photography and editing! Vocie over is very good. But i didnt understand some of it....may be my mistake. The actress has done a good job and the camera moving with the actress during the personal soundtrack on her head is really done professional. Summary:- No ocmplaints...Good job! -- By achalam, Posted on Tuesday, December 23, 2003
Awesome Really nice short...something after my own heart...loved the visual compositions and the music and the edit of this short film. The acting was good and the best part was the voice over...it is rare to find the voice over actually moving the film forward without being obstructive. Nice work guys....loved the short to the core. -- By atrips, Posted on Monday, December 22, 2003
Personal Soundtrack Very interesting film. Technically this piece is great. I like the camera work and the story flows very nicely. My only observation is that, although she did a very fine job with her acting, the girl sounded too much like a little girl and that took something away from the whole piece for me. Great concept and very good work. -- By pagangod, Posted on Saturday, December 20, 2003
Personal i think that the piece over all was good. i like the shots and the shot flow. the editing was good there were a few things that i would have done differently. i'm working on something right now and i realized that working alone i highly overrated... the reason that i say this is because i noticed that you credits were short. bring more people in with you. if you surround yourself with good people then great things will happen. keep making films!! -- By Castile, Posted on Tuesday, December 16, 2003
Inspiring piece about inspiration Movies about writers are nothing new, admittedly, but this is a well-made piece. Original and engaging dialogue (monologue?) Favorite shot - the man examining himself in the 'mirror' glass of the bus stop. As a New Yorker I loved seeing some familiar locations. I have to say, though, that the typography was atrocious. -- By Sparky Peterson, Posted on Monday, December 15, 2003
Good exposition I thought this was a really solid movie. The film seemed like it would be a great opening to a feature project. The camera work was great and very similar to Darren Aronofsky. The voice overs were very strong and nicely written. Good job for a two person project. -- By torin006, Posted on Sunday, December 14, 2003
Not too bad! What this film lacked in script, it made up for in cinematography. it was enjoybale, though pretentious at points. I could do with less sterile shots---feet, etc...I'd consider revising this piece. It has great potential! I'd be interested to see what your other works look like. Jill Frutkin may've been a weak choice.... -- By zooberoo, Posted on Friday, December 12, 2003
Average I found the cutting and music extremely well done; however, I couldn't for some reason get into concept. Maybe it was just me personally, but found the story/concept didn't piece so well together and the idea was a bit too simplified for my taste. But I surely didn't find the film to be horrible. Just somewhat average. -- By onneb1414, Posted on Friday, December 12, 2003
Who You Callin' Over Achiever? "Wouldn't that be amazing if you could hear the thoughts people have in their heads?" Yeah. Great stereotype of the over-acheiver. Wow, this story has us pegged! Not saying I can understand the concept of over doing it, just saying.... In reality, we slack in living life by vicariously achieving other's dreams. Great script and concept in offering between narration of the writer, and narration of the character. Good occupation he set her in as well. I loved the thought of the personal sountrack each person listen to in their heads. Strong performances... so, who was creating who in this story? Who was the character? Aren't we all? If the world is a stage, Leonard and Frutkin offer the soundtrack. Great metaphors here, and I really loved the cinematography ideas in execution, and edit. Loved that window image, causing self-insecurity on the other side. This was pretty cool, and if it seems to not really go anywhere, I could only suggest a viewer to take another 'trip' through it. I think this is a strong contender - great artistic direction of ideas. -- By Elizabeth Anne, Posted on Monday, December 8, 2003
Really nice film Liked this a lot. What impressed me the most was the atmosphere of the piece. All the elements combined well. Nicely shot and edited. Sublime use of music. Well written script and first-rate acting in the voice-over. Joe also had the sense not to overstay his welcome and let the film run on too long. A nice idea very well executed. Five minutes well spent. Well done! -- By neilg117, Posted on Monday, December 8, 2003
Very well done... Well-shot, well-edited, I found this film very enjoyable. The sountrack is great, and really adds to the vibe of the piece. The female narrator was terrific, reminds me of one of the Tilly sisters. I would like to nit-pick a few things, but can't really think of anything. Nice work! -- By Fotonewz, Posted on Monday, December 8, 2003
Excellent photography The images were lovely. Because the story was an impressionistic piece, it couldn't have been much longer -- but it works for what it is. I like poetry, and I loved this film, but a few lines jumped out at me as being a bit too abstract. The tone: voices, music, and images, were really, really nice. -- By smpost, Posted on Sunday, December 7, 2003
Blatantly....sublime. Joe Leonard brings forth an American Beauty-esque piece concerning one of those hypothetical situations in which might make life simpler, but the world more chaotic. What would you do if you were able to read other's minds? Although this seems to be the focal thought of this film, the statement seems to serve as a symbol, an analogy if you will, concerning the difficulties that everyone in their everday lives must face. The one shot I do love the most is the black-and-white one of the trees, it's just an incredibly beautiful shot, with the reflection of the sun slightly poking in at the last moment. I do wish the dialogue were a little more complex, but the piece was better served through symphony than through the human voice (even though the female lead does sound an awful lot like Joey Lauren Adams). It could have been improved, but I think like most pieces of writing, a film is always a work in progress. Good work! -- By UFAndrew11, Posted on Sunday, December 7, 2003
Makes sense to me..... I thought this was a well edited short mini dv film. I enjoyed the narration and the voice overs were done professionaly and I enjoyed the camera work and editing. there's nothing like shooting a short in NYC and this has that NYC feel to it. I thought the actress performance was good and this script was smart and thoughtful. The music was done and I enjoyed this short. enuff said. -- By marleyluvsfilms, Posted on Sunday, December 7, 2003
FIVE MINUTES OF FAME Great little short. The editing was masterful, keeping my interest with vision and sound. The narrations of both were great, soothing from the male, offbeat yet perky from Courtney. Back ground music never pushed to sell a song but was heard if wanted. Low light levels on some shots but seeable. You lost the contract with K mart when Courtney praise's the practical in one breath and in the other mentions all the things she don't need. Did this short make your life make sense? I'm still figuring it out but you all deserve your five minutes of fame. -- By brokenarrow, Posted on Sunday, December 7, 2003